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Episode 116: The One With Two Parts: Part One

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

#SpeakerLine
1Written byMarta Kauffman & David Crane
Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly
With Minot Adjustments by: Tennant Stuart
4(ACTION)Ursula Buffay, Phoebe’s identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.
5JoeyThere’s the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
6(ACTION)Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.
7ChandlerIt’s Phoebe! Hi!
8(ACTION)Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.
9UrsulaHi. Okay, will that be all?
10ChandlerWait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?
11UrsulaYeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now I’m here.
12JoeyNo, no... how come you are working here?
13UrsulaRight, yeah, ’cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
14ChandlerCan we start over?
15UrsulaYeah. Okay great. I’m gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
16Chandler and JoeyNo, no, no!
Nitpick:
 
92ChandlerWENUS. (Coughs) Weekly Estimated Net...
93NinaOh, Net Usage Statistics, right. Gotcha, gotcha. Won’t happen again. I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt your... "wenus."
Observation:
 
96ChandlerIt’s not just that she’s cute, okay. It’s just that... she’s really really cute.
97RossIt doesn’t matter. You don’t dip your pen in the company ink.
Observation:
 
179FranThink she got fired at Riff’s?
180JamieNo, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies’ bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
Question:
 
217Mr.HecklesI can hear you through the ceiling. My cats can’t sleep.
218RachelYou don’t even have cats.
219Mr.HecklesI could have cats.
Observation:
 
312(ACTION)Monica points the remote at her TV, and punches out a key combination from the book, but the dreaded SAP logo remains and Spanish still comes forth.
313PhoebeAlright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I can’t, I can’t watch.
Observation:
Image below: "identical cousins" Cathy and Patty Duke
 
333(ACTION)Phoebe gets up and walks across the hallway, but the door to Chandler and Joey’s apartment is shut. She knocks, and anxiously waits for Joey to come, but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joey’s shirts.
Nitpick:
 
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
DISCLAIMER: This site is not affiliated with Warner Brothers, NBC, Bright, Kaufmann, Crane, or any entity involved in producing, distributing, broadcasting, or otherwise related to the television show Friends. The name of this site is intended purely as a tribute; no affiliation to any actor or character is implied or should be inferred. This site is also not affiliated with The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI) site. Script portions appearing here are not the actual scripts as written, only as transcribed by others. Only the portions of scripts required for annotations are quoted. Script portions, images, audio, video, and other material from the show Friends is reproduced without explicit permission from Warner Brothers, but this reproduction falls under the "fair use" provision of copyright law. The purpose of this site is for education and entertainment. No profit is derived from this site. There is no guarantee of accuracy. Use at your own risk. Some material on this site may not be suitable for children.
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