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Episode 208: The One With The List

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

#SpeakerLine
1CREDITSOriginally written by Marta Kauffman and David Crane
Transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips [mmatting@indiana.edu]
Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
98JOEYHey, here's a thought, Ross. [reaches for the computer]
99CHANDon't touch the computer. Don't ever touch the computer.
Observation: Chandler tells Joey not to touch his computer (the lines above), but Joey uses it to view porn (Episode 621: The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad, line(s) 18). (the computer is probably worth so much less by Episode 621 that Chandler no longer minds)
Episode 621, Lines 18-18
18JoeyBut I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I don’t know anything about technology! I can’t even use Chandler’s computer except to find porn! And-and that’s only ‘cause it’s right there when you turn it on!
 
179RACHOh! I do not have chubby ankles!
Observation: In the lines above, Rachel denies having chubby ankles, but in Episode 302: The One Where No One's Ready, line(s) 66, she worries about chubby calves. (Ross' list probably made her sensitive [even though Joey's the one who added this item]; of course, calves and ankles aren't the same thing, but close)
Episode 302, Lines 66-66
66RachelUh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
 
188PHOEI... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
189JOEYHey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
190PHOEWhat?
191MNCAWhat?
192CHANOh good, I was hoping that would come up.
193MNCAThis was your idea?
194PHOEWhat were you thinking?
195CHAN[squirming] All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason.
196MNCAYeah. You!
Observation: In the lines above, Monica thinks creating a list of Rachel's good and bad points was a bad idea, but in Episode 624: The One With The Proposal, line(s) 237, she encourages Ross to do this for Elizabeth.
Episode 624, Lines 237-237
237MonicaWhy don’t you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean that’s what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
 
224RACH[near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
Observation: In Episode 316: The One The Morning After, line(s) 340-341, Rachel says she can never picture Ross hurting her. Actually, he did this previously when he made the list in the lines above. Admittedly, sleeping with another woman is much more serious.
Episode 316, Lines 340-341
340RossLook, look, there’s got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I can’t imagine, I can’t imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
341Rachel(crying) No. I can’t, you’re a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just can’t stop picturing with her, I can’t, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesn’t matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It’s just changed, everything. Forever.
 
256RTSTIt's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
257MNCACat hair.
Observation: In Episode 207: The One Where Ross Finds Out, line(s) 55-57, Monica had a cat, but in the lines above, she's allergic to cat hair (probably why she doesn't want one in Episode 702: The One With Rachel's Book, line(s) 227-228). Thought: maybe she gave Fluffy Meowington away after realizing she was allergic? Chloe Rogers notes that in Episode 521: The One With The Ball, line(s) 215-220, Monica's allergic to Ms Whiskerson, even though Ms Whiskerson doesn't have any hair!
Episode 207, Lines 55-57
55RossOh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, Okay?
56MonicaOnly if you say his full name.
57Ross(reluctantly) Can I come over tomorrow and pick up Fluffy Meowington's cat toy.
Episode 702, Lines 227-228
227ChandlerI love you so much.
228MonicaI love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin’ about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.
Episode 521, Lines 215-220
215RachelWell, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats?
216MonicaLook, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it.
217RachelNo Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! (Storms out.)
218(ACTION)Monica sneezes.
219MonicaOh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! (Quickly grabs a tissue to wipe her eyes.) Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close.
220ChandlerYeah, you almost overreacted to something.
 
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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