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Episode 503: The One Hundredth

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

#SpeakerLine
1Written byMarta Kauffman & David Crane
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
108[SCENE]Scene: The delivery room, Ross has returned with another doctor. This one, is well, younger.
109RossOkay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
Observation: The Dr Obermans in the lines above and Episode 102: The One With The Sonogram At the End, line(s) 168-169 are probably unrelated.
Episode 102, Lines 168-169
168Ross(they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
169CarolDr. Oberman.
 
111Dr. ObermanUmm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early…
112Phoebe(interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Observation: In the lines above, Phoebe is of course being sarcastic when she says she also graduated early. As she mentions in Episode 509: The One With Ross's Sandwich, line(s) 206, she never went to high school at all.
Episode 509, Lines 206-206
206PhoebeWell, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
 
129RachelHoney, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice.
130PhoebeI know, it is.
131RachelYeah!
132PhoebeCan I tell you a little secret?
133RachelYeah!
134PhoebeI want to keep one. (Giggles in excitement.)
135RachelOhh, I'm gonna be on the news!
Observation: In Episode 1002: The One Where Ross Is Fine, line(s) 118-120, Frank Jr offers what Phoebe wanted in the lines above.
Episode 1002, Lines 118-120
118PhoebeOh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!
119Frank Jr.Oh, no! I would never do that. No. I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one.
120PhoebeWhat?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one?
 
143PhoebeOh, just ask him!
144RachelMe?!
145PhoebeI can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Observation: In the lines above, the pregnancy must REALLY be throwing Phoebe off-- she never seems to worry about being inappropriate before or after this.
 
282MonicaI think you're my favorite.
283PhoebeWhich one do you have?
284MonicaI don't care.
Observation: In the lines above, this joke only works because Monica's holding a baby in a pink blanket. If she was holding the baby in the blue blanket, she'd know right away it's Frank Jr Jr, since he's the only boy.
 
291PhoebeSo, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Observation: In the lines above, Phoebe is referencing the events in Episode 412: The One With The Embryos, line(s) 140.
Episode 412, Lines 140-140
140PhoebeHello, tiny embryos. Well, I’m-I’m Phoebe Buffay, hi! I’m-I’m-I’m hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that we’re doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, you’ve been there! Umm, y’know they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that I’ll keep you safe and warm until you’re ready to have them take you home, so… Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, I’m screaming, don’t worry, that’s what’s supposed to happen.
 
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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