| # | Speaker | Line |
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| 1 | Written by | Marta Kauffman & David Crane
Transcribed by: guineapig |
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| Observation: Episode E209/L40: , line(s) 209 is Gunther's first line, though he's visible as early as below: 7 from Episode I7/E102/Gunther in the background/: . His 2nd line is 10 episodes later (Episode E219/L146: , line(s) 219). |
| Episode 209, Lines 40-40 |
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| 40 | GUNTHER | Yeah. |
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| Episode 219, Lines 146-146 |
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| 146 | GUNTHER | Lemonade? You ok man? |
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| Image below: Gunther in the background |
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| 20 | Marsha | Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife? |
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| 21 | (ACTION) | Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit. |
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| 22 | Ross | (trying to ignore her) No. No. |
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| 23 | Marsha | Yes, it is. Carol! Hi! |
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| 24 | Ross | Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode E102/L20-24: , line(s) 102, it's not surprising that Ross doesn't recognize his ex-wife, as she's short and brunette (played by Anita Barone, below: 6 from Episode I6/E102/Anita Barone as Carol/: ). In every other episode, she's tall and blonde (played by Jane Sibbett, below: 17 from Episode I17/E109/Jane Sibbett as Carol/: ). |
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| 35 | Carol | I'm pregnant. |
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| 36 | Ross | Pregnant?! |
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| Observation: Episode E923/L270-274: , line(s) 923 and Episode E916/L190: , line(s) 916 explains how Carol got pregnant (Episode E102/L35-36: , line(s) 102) a year after becoming a lesbian (Episode E306/L268-269: , line(s) 306). (flashback episode 306 occurs over a year before Episode 102) |
| Episode 923, Lines 270-274 |
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| 270 | Ross | My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter. |
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| 271 | Charlie | Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along" |
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| 272 | Ross | I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay" |
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| 273 | Charlie | I know! |
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| 274 | Ross | And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome? |
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| Episode 916, Lines 190-190 |
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| 190 | Ross | If you have to call me name, I prefer Ross the Divorcer. It's just cooler. Look...I know my marriages haven't exactly worked out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Caroline and I had some good times before she became a lesbian! And once afterward. I'm sorry. |
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| Episode 306, Lines 268-269 |
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| 268 | Ross | My wife’s a lesbian. |
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| 269 | Joey | Cool!! |
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| 49 | Joey | Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come. |
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| 50 | Monica | That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode E906/L320-328: , line(s) 906, Ross implies his father was ashamed of him. Episode E102/L49-50: , line(s) 102 and Episode E713/L48-50: , line(s) 713 are just two examples that Ross' parents were very proud of him. |
| Episode 906, Lines 320-328 |
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| 320 | Ross | Why... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father? |
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| 321 | Sandy | hmmm... (and shakes his head) |
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| 322 | Ross | I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now. |
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| 323 | Rachel | (from the bedroom) Huh ha ha! |
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| 324 | Ross | I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive. |
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| 325 | Sandy | That must have been hard. |
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| 326 | Ross | It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy? |
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| 327 | Sandy | But you are a real boy! |
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| 328 | Ross | I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top? |
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| Episode 713, Lines 48-50 |
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| 48 | [SCENE] | Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house. |
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| 49 | Ross | I can’t believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some stranger’s gonna be living in my room. |
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| 50 | Monica | Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, it’s time the velvet ropes came down. |
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| 66 | Rachel | I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with... |
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| 67 | Chandler | ...Dinah? |
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| 68 | Rachel | (looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don't be mad... |
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| 69 | Monica | You didn't. |
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| 70 | Rachel | Oh, I am sorry... |
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| 71 | Monica | I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.) |
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| 72 | Rachel | Oh, but look how straight those noodles are! |
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| Observation: (from Doug Greenhough) Rachel's learning to cook, albeit slowly. In Episode E418/L63-69: , line(s) 418 she gets Monica to cook for her; in Episode E521/L301-303: , line(s) 521, she's defrosting a chicken (presumably to cook it), and in Episode E609/L64-73: , line(s) 609, she attempts (but fails) to make an English trifle. Episode E102/L66-72: , line(s) 102 implies Rachel helped make a lasagne. In Episode E905/L130-131: , line(s) 905, Ross notes Rachel hasn't cooked since 1996. |
| Episode 418, Lines 63-69 |
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| 63 | Rachel | Sorry. I’m so exited! I’ve been waiting for this for months! I got my hair coloured! I got new sheets! I’m making him a very fancy meal. |
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| 64 | Monica | Um-hmm. |
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| 65 | Rachel | What am I making him by the way? |
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| 66 | Monica | Well, you’re making him a frieze salad with goat cheese and pine nuts, wild nuts, wild rice, roast asparagus, and salmon au croup. |
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| 67 | Rachel | I thought I was making him filet mignon? |
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| 68 | Monica | Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke. |
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| 69 | Rachel | Wow, I really get crabby when I cook. |
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| Episode 521, Lines 301-303 |
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| 301 | [SCENE] | Cut to her apartment where Rachel is sitting at the table. |
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| 302 | Monica | Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls! |
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| 303 | Rachel | It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson. |
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| Episode 609, Lines 64-73 |
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| 64 | Rachel | Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English trifle! |
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| 65 | Phoebe | Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachel’s dessert is...[about to say “bad”] so good that I eat all of it. There’s none left for anybody else! |
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| 66 | [SCENE] | Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel laugh |
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| 67 | Monica | Nothing. |
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| 68 | Rachel | (worried) Nothing? |
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| 69 | Monica | No, sweetie, I-I trust you. |
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| 70 | Rachel | So, if-if I mess this up, there’s nothing else for dessert? |
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| 71 | Monica | You’re not gonna mess it up. |
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| 72 | Rachel | Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butter’s done? |
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| 73 | Monica | Well, it’s done about two minutes before it looks like that. |
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| Episode 905, Lines 130-131 |
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| 130 | Rachel | Ah, did I leave the stove on? |
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| 131 | Ross | You never cooked since 1996. |
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| 133 | Rachel | You're twins? |
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| 134 | Phoebe | Yeah. We don't speak. She's like this high-powered, driven career type. |
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| 135 | Chandler | What does she do? |
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| 136 | Phoebe | She's a waitress. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode E116/L4-16: , line(s) 116, Chandler and Joey confuse Ursula for Phoebe. But, in Episode E102/L133-136: , line(s) 102, Phoebe tells Chandler she has a twin sister who's a waitress! |
| Episode 116, Lines 4-16 |
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| 4 | (ACTION) | Ursula Buffay, Phoebe’s identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner. |
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| 5 | Joey | There’s the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss? |
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| 6 | (ACTION) | Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from. |
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| 7 | Chandler | It’s Phoebe! Hi! |
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| 8 | (ACTION) | Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over. |
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| 9 | Ursula | Hi. Okay, will that be all? |
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| 10 | Chandler | Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here? |
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| 11 | Ursula | Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now I’m here. |
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| 12 | Joey | No, no... how come you are working here? |
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| 13 | Ursula | Right, yeah, ’cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute. |
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| 14 | Chandler | Can we start over? |
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| 15 | Ursula | Yeah. Okay great. I’m gonna be over here. (She wanders away.) |
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| 16 | Chandler and Joey | No, no, no! |
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| 168 | Ross | (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...? |
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| 169 | Carol | Dr. Oberman. |
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| Observation: The Dr Obermans in Episode E503/L108-109: , line(s) 503 and Episode E102/L168-169: , line(s) 102 are probably unrelated. |
| Episode 503, Lines 108-109 |
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| 108 | [SCENE] | Scene: The delivery room, Ross has returned with another doctor. This one, is well, younger. |
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| 109 | Ross | Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang. |
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| 187 | Bernice | (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Jason Greenstein's gagging. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode E102/L187: , line(s) 102, Rachel's ex-fiancee is referred to as Dr. Farber, but as Dr. Finkel in Episode E101/L156: , line(s) 101 |
| Episode 101, Lines 156-156 |
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| 156 | Rachel | Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.) |
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