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Episode 112: The One With The Dozen Lasagnas

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

1Written byJeffrey Astrof, Mike Sikowitz, Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider
Transcribed by: Jim & Tracy Lambers
With Minor Adjustments by: Dan Silverstein
6MonicaAunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Nitpick: In Episode E112/L6: , line(s) 112, Monica says her lasagnas contain meat, but in below: 20 from Episode I20/E112/Phoebe eating lasagna/: , Phoebe's eating one (maybe she's scraping?). [This annotation came from another source, and I am in the process of properly crediting it. It is it not something I annotated myself]
Image below: Phoebe eating lasagna
96JoeyAw, I know all about Kip!
97ChandlerIt's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Nitpick: In Episode E112/L96-97: , line(s) 112, Chandler says Kip ran off and got married. But in Episode E505/L195-197: , line(s) 505, we hear that Kip got "phased out" (it's possible that Kip found someone and got married while being phased out).
Episode 505, Lines 195-197
195ChandlerKip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
196JoeyOh, that poor bastard.
197RachelSee? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
187PhoebeOk, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Observation: Phoebe lies when she says that she never lies (Episode E112/L187: , line(s) 112). Examples: Episode E603/L114: , line(s) 603, Episode E706/L104-109: , line(s) 706, others. (maybe she meant she'd never lied up to that point? and, of course, there's nothing inconsistent about a liar saying they never lie!).
Episode 603, Lines 114-114
114PhoebeNo. No, I won’t. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didn’t love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And that’s how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, that’s a lie.
Episode 706, Lines 104-109
104Rachel(shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!!
105PhoebeSee? This is exactly why you shouldn’t lie!
106RachelAll right that’s it! I am maid of honor!
107PhoebeNa-uh, I am!
108RachelHow come you are?!
109PhoebeBecause I cared enough to lie!
Nitpick: In Episode E112/L187: , line(s) 112, Phoebe makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world, but in Episode E703/L35-37: , line(s) 703, Monica wants Phoebe's chocolate chip cookie recipe. (Maybe Phoebe has 2 "world's best" recipes, and/or the creators needed "chocolate chip" for the "Nestle' Tolouse"/"Nestle Tollhouse" joke to work).
Episode 703, Lines 35-37
35MonicaNo, you don’t want this. I want to have your grandmother’s cookie recipe.
36PhoebeYou mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
37MonicaUh-huh, yeah.
207PhoebeOk, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Nitpick: In Episode E107/L118: , line(s) 107, Phoebe sings that she stays away from dairy, but the song obviously doesn't reflect her personal views. In Episode E103/L290: , line(s) 103, she eats ice cream w/ everyone as they mope over Monica's breakup w/ Alan (below: 8 from Episode I8/E103/Phoebe eating ice cream/: ). In Episode E112/L207: , line(s) 112, we see she carries milk in a thermos (Rachel's probably too stunned to get some from the fridge), and in Episode E212/L491-492: , line(s) 212 and Episode E906/L12: , line(s) 906, she puts milk in her coffee. In below: 45 from Episode I45/E216/Phoebe pours herself some milk/: and below: 46 from Episode I46/E216/Phoebe drinks the milk she poured/: , Phoebe pours herself some milk and drinks it. She also takes a swig of milk in Episode E507/L233: , line(s) 507, but this is mostly to protect Central Perk. I also don't count Episode E202/L102: , line(s) 202, because human breast milk doesn't really qualify as dairy.
Episode 107, Lines 118-118
118Phoebe(singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Episode 103, Lines 290-290
290[SCENE]Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.
Episode 212, Lines 491-492
491CHANDLERHey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
492PHOEBEI'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
Episode 906, Lines 12-12
Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.
Episode 507, Lines 233-233
233PhoebeOh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! That—this milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Episode 202, Lines 102-102
102PhoebeDuh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)
Image below: Phoebe eating ice cream
Image below: Phoebe pours herself some milk
Image below: Phoebe drinks the milk she poured
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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