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Episode 212: The One After the Superbowl

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

1Originally written by Michael Borkow, Mike Sikowitz & Jeffrey Astrof
Transcribed by Josh Hodge
Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
48[SCENE]door buzzer goes off
50ERICAIt's Erica.
51JOEYAh, the stalker.
52ERICANever mind, it's open.
Observation: In Episode E212/L48-52: , line(s) 212, the creators cleverly take care of a repeated nit. There are several times in the series when non-residents manage to enter Monica/Rachel/Chandler/Joey's building without being buzzed in. Now we know why: the door is apparentally sometimes left open (apparentally, Fake Manhattan has a low crime rate)
110[SCENE]Some guy at another table starts choking
111WAITEROh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
112ERICAWell, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Remore.
Observation: In Episode E212/L110-112: , line(s) 212, it certainly is convenient that someone starts choking in a restaurant just when Joey's pretending (sort of) to be a real doctor. To be fair, I think some variation of this scene appears in every sitcom ever filmed.
126[SceneLibrary. Phoebe is singing.]
127PHOEBE[singing] There'll be times when you get older
when you'll want to sleep with people
just to make them like you. . .
But don't.
Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody
That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
Nitpick: In Episode E212/L126-127: , line(s) 212, Phoebe tells kids not to sleep with people to get them to like you. But, in Episode E718/L192: , line(s) 718, Phoebe seems shocked to realize that putting out doesn't get you love.
Episode 718, Lines 192-192
192PhoebeOh my God! You’re right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before it’s too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesn’t get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
223ROSSWell, I tracked down Marcel and get this, he's healthy, he's happy, and he's right here in New York filming Outbreak II - The Virus Takes Manhattan.
Observation: Re Episode E212/L223: , line(s) 212, the two monkeys who play Marcel actually do appear in the movie Outbreak. [This annotation came from another source, and I am in the process of properly crediting it. It is it not something I annotated myself]
237ROSSThis is so exciting, I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year.
238CHANDLERWhat, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
Observation: In Episode E212/L237-238: , line(s) 212, Chandler implies he's never made a monkey-is-penis joke. Actually, he's done this directly in Episode E119/L57-58: , line(s) 119 and indirectly in Episode E115/L82-83: , line(s) 115.
Episode 119, Lines 57-58
57RossWell, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
58ChandlerI can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.
Episode 115, Lines 82-83
82RossOh, I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
83ChandlerAnd he's not speaking metaphorically.
333CHANDLERHey, stick a fork in me, I am done.
334PHOEBEStick a fork what?
335CHANDLERLike, when you're cooking a steak.
Question: Re Episode E212/L333-335: , line(s) 212, I always thought this was how you tested poultry (ie, stick a fork in it, and if the juices run clear, it's done). Does anyone know for sure?
376[SCENE]They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.
377PHOEBEOK, now I'm gonna kick some ass.
378[SCENE]Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear
380PHOEBEAlright, now I will let go if you both stop.
381RACHELOh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
383RACHELYou want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
385RACHELOh that's what you want.
389PHOEBEThere we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Nitpick: In Episode E806/L129-133: , line(s) 806, Monica seems shocked that Joey thinks Phoebe is tougher than her. But Phoebe's already proven this in Episode E212/L376-389: , line(s) 212.
Episode 806, Lines 129-133
129MonicaWho do you think would win in a fight, Catwoman or Supergirl?
130JoeyCatwoman, hands down.
132JoeyBut between you and Phoebe, I’d have to give the edge to Phoebe.
133MonicaWhat?! Really?!
467JOEYAre you naked in there?
468CHANDLERNot exactly. . . I'm wearin panties.
469JOEYHuh, you uh, you always wear panties?
470CHANDLERNo, no, this is the first time.
471JOEYWow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
472CHANDLERI was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
473JOEYWell, let me see.
Nitpick: In Episode E722/L113-117: , line(s) 722, Joey seems really shocked that Phoebe's boyfriend tried on her underwear. But when Chandler does this in Episode E212/L467-473: , line(s) 212, Joey seems remarkably calm.
Episode 722, Lines 113-117
113JoeyWell, when Jake did it I saw that…he was wearing women’s underwear!
114PhoebeI know. They were mine.
115JoeyOh. (Laughs.) No! No wait, that’s weird!
116PhoebeNo, it’s not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
117JoeyThat’s weird!
491CHANDLERHey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
492PHOEBEI'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
Nitpick: In Episode E107/L118: , line(s) 107, Phoebe sings that she stays away from dairy, but the song obviously doesn't reflect her personal views. In Episode E103/L290: , line(s) 103, she eats ice cream w/ everyone as they mope over Monica's breakup w/ Alan (below: 8 from Episode I8/E103/Phoebe eating ice cream/: ). In Episode E112/L207: , line(s) 112, we see she carries milk in a thermos (Rachel's probably too stunned to get some from the fridge), and in Episode E212/L491-492: , line(s) 212 and Episode E906/L12: , line(s) 906, she puts milk in her coffee. In below: 45 from Episode I45/E216/Phoebe pours herself some milk/: and below: 46 from Episode I46/E216/Phoebe drinks the milk she poured/: , Phoebe pours herself some milk and drinks it. She also takes a swig of milk in Episode E507/L233: , line(s) 507, but this is mostly to protect Central Perk. I also don't count Episode E202/L102: , line(s) 202, because human breast milk doesn't really qualify as dairy.
Episode 107, Lines 118-118
118Phoebe(singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Episode 103, Lines 290-290
290[SCENE]Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.
Episode 112, Lines 207-207
207PhoebeOk, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Episode 906, Lines 12-12
Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.
Episode 507, Lines 233-233
233PhoebeOh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! That—this milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Episode 202, Lines 102-102
102PhoebeDuh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)
Image below: Phoebe eating ice cream
Image below: Phoebe pours herself some milk
Image below: Phoebe drinks the milk she poured
500[SCENE]"Looks Like We Made It" starts playing and we enter a whole sequence of Marcel and Ross having fun in the city.
Nitpick: Ross doesn't like ice cream (Episode E708/L121-125: , line(s) 708), but seems to be ok w/ frozen yogurt (Episode E315/L168: , line(s) 315). Ross enjoys ice cream with Elizabeth in Episode E618/L138: , line(s) 618 (below: 1017 from Episode I1017/E618/Ross and Elizabeth with ice cream/: , but if you watch carefully, Ross never actually eats ice cream in this scene), and with Marcel in Episode E212/L500: , line(s) 212 (below: 34 from Episode I34/E212/Ross and Marcel share an ice cream/: ). In Episode E103/L290-292: , line(s) 103, everyone seems to be eating ice cream, but, again, if you watch carefully, Ross is just holding a spoon and not actually eating anything (below: 1002 from Episode I1002/E103/Ross not-quite-eating ice cream/: ).
Episode 708, Lines 121-125
121JoeyLook, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin’ ice cream.
122PhoebeYou don't like ice cream?
123RossIt's too cold.
124ChandlerOkay, it's just that dogs make me a little uncomfortable.
125Ross(to Phoebe) It hurts my teeth.
Episode 315, Lines 168-168
168RossOkay, okay, fine, you’re right. Let’s ah, let’s take a break, (goes to the door) let’s cool off, okay, let’s get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Episode 618, Lines 138-138
138[SCENE]Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.
Episode 103, Lines 290-292
290[SCENE]Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.
291RachelRemember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.
292RossYeah. He could row like a viking.
Image below: Ross and Elizabeth with ice cream
Image below: Ross and Marcel share an ice cream
Image below: Ross not-quite-eating ice cream
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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