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Episode 305: The One With Frank Jr.

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

1Written byScott Silveri & Shana Goldnerg-Meehan.
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
24PhoebeNo, I know, I’m just nervous. Y'know it’s just y'know Mom’s dead, don’t talk to my sister, Grandma’s been sleeping a lot lately. It’s like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. You’re so sweet to wait with me.
25RachelWell, actually Gunther sent me. You’re not allowed to have cups out here, it’s a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Observation: Phoebe can't take cups outside Central Perk (Episode E305/L24-25: , line(s) 305), but Rachel can (Episode E321/L8: , line(s) 321). (probably another example of Gunther's crush on Rachel or maybe the rules changed?)
Episode 321, Lines 8-8
8Gunther(bringing Rachel a mug) Rachel, I made you a cocoa.
31ChandlerWell, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can’t get mad.
32RossAh, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
Not a nitpick: Mrs Geller adds Gunther to her "list" (Episode E723/L233-240: , line(s) 723), even though it's only for celebrities (Episode E305/L31-32: , line(s) 305), but that's ok since Gunther was a celebrity (Episode E219/L147-152: , line(s) 219). (the elder Gellers may not know this; their "list" game may allow any 5? people, not just celebrities).
Episode 723, Lines 233-240
233Mrs. GellerI certainly see why the girls like coming here.
235Mrs. GellerThe sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
236Ross(shocked) Gunther?!
237Mr. GellerYour mother just added him to her list.
238RossWhat? Your-your list?
239Mrs. GellerYeah, the list that—of people we’re allowed to sleep…
240RossYes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know I’m looking for him?
Episode 219, Lines 147-152
147JOEYAh, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
148GUNTHEROh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?
149JOEYI fell down an elevator shaft.
150GUNTHERThat sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.
152GUNTHERI used to be Bryce on All My Children.
38MonicaFirst, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list.
39JoeyIt’s just a game Mon. (makes a ‘Can-you-believe-her’ face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
40RachelOh, I don’t know, I guess, Chris O’Donnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.
Observation: Sean Cassidy's not on Rachel's list (Episode E305/L38-40: , line(s) 305), though she wanted to buy him (Episode E521/L58-60: , line(s) 521).
Episode 521, Lines 58-60
58RachelAll right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
59RossYou bought Shawn Cassidy!
60RachelNoo! I wish! Okay, you ready?
169FrankYou-you work at one of those massage parlors?
170PhoebeWell, y'know we don’t call it that, but yeah!
171Frank(starts laughing) Wow! That’s wild! No, I had no idea.
172PhoebeAll righty. I’ll be back in-in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me?
173FrankYou mean like watch?
174PhoebeNo, no, you can get one yourself. It’ll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for?
175FrankWell, I don’t think this, y'know.
176PhoebeNo, no, no, I wouldn’t do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, I’ll get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Observation: Phoebe says it's weird massaging her half-brother (Episode E305/L169-176: , line(s) 305), but not Monica (Episode E814/L83-89: , line(s) 814).
Episode 814, Lines 83-89
83PhoebeWhy won’t you let me massage you?
84MonicaWell it’s…I mean I’d just—I’d be self-conscious. You’re my friend; I’d be naked.
85PhoebeMonica! We lived together for years! I’ve seen you naked!
86MonicaThat’s different, we were roommates! And when?!
87PhoebeI’m curious about the human body.
88MonicaHey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
89PhoebeBut I’m a professional! And I’m really good! Look, if you’re uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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