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Episode 706: The One With The Nap Partners

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

1Written byBrian Buckner & Sebastian Jones
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
30[SCENE]Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.
Observation: Bruce Willis plays Elizabeth's dad, Paul (Episode E621/L62: , line(s) 621), and also stars in Die Hard (Episode E706/L30: , line(s) 706), but no one notices the resemblance. (maybe Bruce Willis looks different in the Friends universe and/or Die Hard may star someone else).
Episode 621, Lines 62-62
62[SCENE]Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.
85ChandlerNo, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive… (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Observation: Chandler dated non-blonde Dana Keystone in college (Episode E618/L107-109: , line(s) 618, below: 1016 from Episode I1016/E618/Dana Keystone/: ), but later says he dated only blondes in college (Episode E706/L85: , line(s) 706). (maybe Dana was a blonde in college and/or one date doesn't count as "dating"?).
Episode 618, Lines 107-109
107MonicaYou’re right, I’m sorry. It’s not like you’re y’know, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
108ChandlerNo, we only went out once.
109MonicaYou dated her!
Image below: Dana Keystone
104Rachel(shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!!
105PhoebeSee? This is exactly why you shouldn’t lie!
106RachelAll right that’s it! I am maid of honor!
107PhoebeNa-uh, I am!
108RachelHow come you are?!
109PhoebeBecause I cared enough to lie!
Observation: Phoebe lies when she says that she never lies (Episode E112/L187: , line(s) 112). Examples: Episode E603/L114: , line(s) 603, Episode E706/L104-109: , line(s) 706, others. (maybe she meant she'd never lied up to that point? and, of course, there's nothing inconsistent about a liar saying they never lie!).
Episode 112, Lines 187-187
187PhoebeOk, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Episode 603, Lines 114-114
114PhoebeNo. No, I won’t. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didn’t love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And that’s how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, that’s a lie.
180RachelOkay! Okay! Umm, Webster’s Dictionary defines marriage as… (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh… I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six-year-olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six-year-old.
Nitpick: Rachel/Chandler meet at the Geller's Thanksgiving dinner, 1987 (Episode E508/L118: , line(s) 508), make out days later (Episode E1011/L277-282: , line(s) 1011), but don't recognize each other in either Episode E306/L94-99: , line(s) 306 nor Episode E101/L53: , line(s) 101. To compensate: Rachel remembers Chandler in Episode E615/L102-108: , line(s) 615 (the "fake" episode); in Episode E706/L180: , line(s) 706, Rachel "became friends with" (not "met") Chandler when he was 25, implying they met earlier. (this is probably the most twisted bit of continuity in the entire series)
Episode 508, Lines 118-118
118RossUh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Episode 1011, Lines 277-282
277ChandlerWell, maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship.
278Rachel(blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")
279ChandlerSo where are you applying to?
280RachelOh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... (Chandler leans in an kisses her) (She pulls away) Hey!
281ChandlerI'm in college and I'm in a band.
282Rachel(She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
Episode 306, Lines 94-99
94RachelI’m serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
95(ACTION)Chandler throws the cue ball under there table.
96ChandlerExcuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.
97RachelYeah, so?
98Chandler(picks it up) And now I’ve picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
99MonicaOh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Episode 101, Lines 53-53
53Monica(pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Episode 615, Lines 102-108
102RossMon, look who I ran into! (Gestures towards Rachel.)
103Monica(gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
104RachelOhh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (She’s not quite sure of that one.)
105MonicaYou are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!
106RossAnd, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. (Points to him.)
108RachelOh yeah.
208RachelWell y’know what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
Nitpick: In Episode E719/L44-47: , line(s) 719, Rachel seems shocked that she has to throw Monica a bridal shower, but in Episode E706/L208: , line(s) 706, she specifically mentions a shower to Phoebe.
Episode 719, Lines 44-47
44MonicaI know you’re planning my surprise bridal shower.
45Rachel(laughs) Well okay—Well don’t ruin it! Just play along at least!
46MonicaOkay. Sorry. (She goes into the guest bedroom.)
47Rachel(To Phoebe) Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?!
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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