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Episode 713: The One Where Rosita Dies

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

1Teleplay byBrian Buckner & Sebastian Jones
Story by: Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
14RachelI’m sorry, Rosita? As in…
15JoeyAs in Rosita does not move.
16RachelJoey, it’s just a chair! What’s the big deal?
17JoeyThe big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and it’s at the perfect angle so you don’t get any glare coming off of Stevie.
18RachelStevie the TV?
Observation: Re Episode E713/L14-18: , line(s) 713, we never learn Rosita's full name, but I'm guessing it's "Rosita, the Sita".
48[SCENE]Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house.
49RossI can’t believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some stranger’s gonna be living in my room.
50MonicaWell, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, it’s time the velvet ropes came down.
Nitpick: In Episode E906/L320-328: , line(s) 906, Ross implies his father was ashamed of him. Episode E102/L49-50: , line(s) 102 and Episode E713/L48-50: , line(s) 713 are just two examples that Ross' parents were very proud of him.
Episode 906, Lines 320-328
320RossWhy... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father?
321Sandyhmmm... (and shakes his head)
322RossI mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
323Rachel(from the bedroom) Huh ha ha!
324RossI play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.
325SandyThat must have been hard.
326RossIt was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
327SandyBut you are a real boy!
328RossI know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Episode 102, Lines 49-50
49JoeyYeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
50MonicaThat's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
52MonicaOh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria’s Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Nitpick: In Episode E713/L52: , line(s) 713, Monica says her dad turned her room into a gym "20 minutes" after she moved out. Of course, Monica is intentionally exaggerating, but he actually did this in Episode E214/L80-81: , line(s) 214, over a year after Rachel had moved in with Monica and probably several years after Monica moved out of her parents' house.
Episode 214, Lines 80-81
80MRS. GELLERWell sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
81MONICAWow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
55RossI was their first born! They thought she was barren! It’s not my fault.
Nitpick: In Episode E713/L55: , line(s) 713, we learn that Ross' parents thought Judy was barren, and Episode E713/L172: , line(s) 713 implies Jack was trying to get Judy pregnant. But, in Episode E702/L116-117: , line(s) 702, it seems Judy's pregnancy was accidental, and that they were trying to use birth control (which wouldn't make sense if they really thought Judy was barren).
Episode 713, Lines 172-172
172Mr. GellerWell I don’t know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could…
Episode 702, Lines 116-117
116Mr. Geller(ignoring her) Well, I’d gotten Judy pregnant. I still don’t know how that happened.
117Mrs. Geller(incredulous) You don’t know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
61PhoebeWell okay, it’s already February and I’ve only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
62MonicaThat was me and Ross.
Nitpick: In Episode E713/L61-62: , line(s) 713, we learn Phoebe has massaged Monica and Ross. In Episode E814/L22-25: , line(s) 814, Phoebe says Monica never lets Phoebe massage her.
Episode 814, Lines 22-25
22(ACTION)Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.
23PhoebeOh my God! You’re getting a massage! You never let me massage you!!
24MonicaPhoebe, I can explain!
25PhoebeYou told me you hate massages!
233MonicaSo wait, Ross’s stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Nitpick: In Episode E713/L233: , line(s) 713, Monica claims she has no childhood memories because her Dad used her boxes to keep water away from his car. She's exaggerating a bit, since her Mom brought over some of her stuff in Episode E214/L78-80: , line(s) 214.
Episode 214, Lines 78-80
78MONICASo, what's this.
79MR. GELLERSome of your old stuff.
80MRS. GELLERWell sweetie, we have a surprise for you. We're turning your room into a gym.
263Joey(sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. I’m so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
Question: Does anyone else think Matt LeBlanc sounds out of character in Episode E713/L263: , line(s) 713?
315MonicaOh, this is terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I don’t even know what it is! Ohh, it’s still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
316RossAll right. I think it was a mouse.
317(ACTION)Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Ross’s sweater to clean them.
318Mr. Geller(entering) How are you honey?
319MonicaHow do you think I am?! You’ve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
Observation: It's probably just a coincidence, but in Episode E713/L315-319: , line(s) 713, Monica rubs a fluffy dead mouse on her face. In Episode E105/L54: , line(s) 105, Ross talks about fluffy rats in his laundry room.
Episode 105, Lines 54-54
54RossYes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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