| # | Speaker | Line |
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| 1 | Written by | Mark Kunerth
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen |
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| 23 | [SCENE] | Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula. |
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| 24 | Phoebe | Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, it’s me! Phoebe! |
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| 25 | Ursula | Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.) |
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| 26 | Phoebe | Wait a second! So, what’s new with you? |
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| 27 | Ursula | Umm, nothing. I mean, I’m getting married next week. |
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| 28 | Phoebe | What?! |
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| 29 | Ursula | Yeah! Yeah, it’s gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His. |
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| 30 | Phoebe | Huh. Okay. Well, I’m really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.) |
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| 31 | Ursula | Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess that’d be okay. |
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| 32 | Phoebe | Really? |
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| 33 | Ursula | Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day. |
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| 34 | Phoebe | Yeah. Okay. Umm, y’know, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy you’re marrying. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode E703/L248: , line(s) 703, Phoebe's vowed not to talk to her sister Ursula. But, in Episode E806/L23-34: , line(s) 806, Phoebe initiates a conversation w/ Ursula and even invites her to a party! (Episode E714/L118-121: , line(s) 714 doesn't count since it's a flashback). |
| Episode 703, Lines 248-248 |
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| 248 | Phoebe | Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And that’s not happening ‘til October 15th, 2032. |
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| Episode 714, Lines 118-121 |
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| 118 | [SCENE] | Scene: Phoebe’s birthday, she’s taking the hippity-hop to Ursula’s apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it. |
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| 119 | Phoebe | Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) It’s for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth! |
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| 120 | Ursula | Right, why do you keep saying that? |
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| 121 | Phoebe | Because it’s our thirtieth birthday. |
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| 127 | Monica | You read comic books right? |
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| 128 | Joey | Exclusively. |
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| Observation: Joey reads real books in Episode E313/L81-88: , line(s) 313, but doesn't in Episode E805/L215-217: , line(s) 805, and reads only comic books in Episode E806/L127-128: , line(s) 806. (Joey's either joking or maybe he gave up reading books after Little Women?) |
| Episode 313, Lines 81-88 |
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| 81 | Rachel | Hmm. (she opens the freezer) Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer? |
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| 82 | Joey | Oh, I was reading it last night, and I got scared, so. |
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| 83 | Rachel | But ah, you’re safe from it if it’s in the freezer? |
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| 84 | Joey | Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure we’ve got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know. |
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| 85 | Rachel | How often do you read it? |
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| 86 | Joey | Haven’t you ever read the same book over and over again? |
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| 87 | Rachel | Well, umm, I guess I read Little Women more than once. But I mean that’s a classic, what’s so great about The Shining? |
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| 88 | Joey | The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet it’s way better than that classic of yours. |
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| Episode 805, Lines 215-217 |
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| 215 | Joey | So what movie do you want to see—And not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books. |
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| 216 | Ross | Books? |
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| 217 | Joey | All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but it’s like enough! |
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| 129 | Monica | Who do you think would win in a fight, Catwoman or Supergirl? |
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| 130 | Joey | Catwoman, hands down. |
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| 131 | Monica | Yeah… |
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| 132 | Joey | But between you and Phoebe, I’d have to give the edge to Phoebe. |
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| 133 | Monica | What?! Really?! |
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| Nitpick: In Episode E806/L129-133: , line(s) 806, Monica seems shocked that Joey thinks Phoebe is tougher than her. But Phoebe's already proven this in Episode E212/L376-389: , line(s) 212. |
| Episode 212, Lines 376-389 |
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| 376 | [SCENE] | They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up. |
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| 377 | PHOEBE | OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass. |
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| 378 | [SCENE] | Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear |
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| 379 | MONICA AND RACHEL | Ow. Ow. Ow. |
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| 380 | PHOEBE | Alright, now I will let go if you both stop. |
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| 381 | RACHEL | Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want? |
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| 382 | MONICA | Uh-huh. |
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| 383 | RACHEL | You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want? |
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| 384 | MONICA | OK. |
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| 385 | RACHEL | Oh that's what you want. |
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| 386 | MONICA | Yes. |
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| 387 | RACHEL | Fine. |
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| 388 | MONICA | Fine, |
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| 389 | PHOEBE | There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches. |
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| 186 | Ursula | Yeah. It wasn’t a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk? |
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| Observation: In Episode E117/L322-323: , line(s) 117, Ursula doesn't drink, but in Episode E806/L186: , line(s) 806, Ursula wants to get really drunk. (maybe she took up drinking sometime between those two episodes?) |
| Episode 117, Lines 322-323 |
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| 322 | Phoebe | (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk! |
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| 323 | Joey | You don't drink. |
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| 215 | Rachel | Oh Gunther! You brought candy! Thank you so much for picking this up! You are so sweet. |
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| 216 | Gunther | Really? |
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| 217 | Rachel | Honey, someday you are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode E502/L96-97: , line(s) 502, Rachel starts to agree Gunther is a romantic possibility. But in Episode E806/L215-217: , line(s) 806, she seems to think Gunther is gay. |
| Episode 502, Lines 96-97 |
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| 96 | Monica | If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! (Gunther turns to listen in.) I mean, he's nice, he's cute. |
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| 97 | Rachel | Yeah, I guess Gunther is kinda… |
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| 260 | (ACTION) | They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either one’s arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd. |
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| 261 | [SCENE] | Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the other’s arm first. An event that has yet to happen. |
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| 262 | Mona | (To Joey) Wow! They’re both really strong. |
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| 263 | Joey | Or equally weak. |
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| Observation: Ross is stronger than Chandler in Episode E319/L162-165: , line(s) 319, but they arm wrestle to a tie in Episode E806/L260-263: , line(s) 806. (Chandler eventually lets Ross win in Episode 806, but they probably would've tied otherwise). |
| Episode 319, Lines 162-165 |
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| 162 | (ACTION) | He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table. |
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| 163 | Chandler | No!! You can’t!! |
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| 164 | Ross | Look, they must be stopped! |
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| 165 | Chandler | I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong! |
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| 323 | Monica | Let’s go big bunny! |
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| 324 | (ACTION) | They assume the starting position. |
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| 325 | Chandler | Okay. 1…2…3—Go! (Once again he’s at a stalemate, but this time he’s in pain.) (Pause) I’m gonna kill myself! |
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| Nitpick: In Episode E516/L207-208: , line(s) 516, Ross claims Monica is stronger than Chandler, and Chandler seems to agree. But, in Episode E806/L323-325: , line(s) 806, Chandler seems surprised that he can't beat Monica at arm-wrestling. |
| Episode 516, Lines 207-208 |
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| 207 | Ross | Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica! |
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| 208 | Chandler | Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so… |
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