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Episode 903: The One With The Pediatrician

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

1WRITTEN BYBrian Buckner and Sebastian Jones
DIRECTED BY: Roger Christiansen
112MonicaHe didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox.
Question: What does "botched Botox" (or "much Botox"?) mean in Episode E903/L112: , line(s) 903?
137MikeWell, I'm a lawyer.
138JoeyMike, 'attorney at law'!
139MikeActually, I just gave up my practice.
140JoeyWhat? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.
141MikeI always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
142PhoebeWow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...
143JoeyWhich is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
144Mary EllenI thought you thought he was still a lawyer.
145JoeyNo, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.
Observation: Re Episode E903/L137-145: , line(s) 903, that Mary Ellen sure is a nitpicker!
182PhoebeMike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
183Mike(Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
184JoeyWhat are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!!
Nitpick: In Episode E111/L153-155: , line(s) 111, Joey says his mom gave birth to 7 children, which would mean him and 6 siblings. In Episode E206/L40-43: , line(s) 206, Joey says he has 7 sisters, and Episode E303/L165-168: , line(s) 303 confirms this. We know the names of 6 of Joey's sisters: Gina, Dina (both Episode E311/L154-159: , line(s) 311), Mary Angela, Mary Theresa (both Episode E311/L264-266: , line(s) 311), Cookie (Episode E311/L289-291: , line(s) 311), and Tina (Episode E113/L250: , line(s) 113). The scene in Episode E903/L182-184: , line(s) 903 may be a reference to this inconsistency.
Episode 111, Lines 153-155
153JoeyYou don't think my mom's sexy?
154RossWell... not in the same way...
155JoeyI'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Episode 206, Lines 40-43
40RossWhat about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital.
41JoeyWe'll watch him.
42RossI don't think tho.
43JoeyWhat? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
Episode 303, Lines 165-168
165MonicaOkay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
166JoeyYeah, the Knicks rule!
167MonicaJoey, this is you!
168JoeyLet me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.
Episode 311, Lines 154-159
154PhoebeHow can you not know which one?
155RachelI mean that’s unbelievable.
156MonicaI mean, was it Gina?
157RossWhich one is Gina?
158RachelDark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
159MonicaNo, no, no, that’s Dina.
Episode 311, Lines 264-266
264Joey’s SisterSo! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
265ChandlerAhhhh, you’re not Mary-Angela.
266Joey’s SisterNo, I’m Mary-Theresa.
Episode 311, Lines 289-291
289ChandlerYou’ve got it. (he starts to look at his sister’s, but he still doesn’t know which one is Mary-Angela.)
290JoeyCookie, now you can punch him!
291ChandlerWhat?! (Cookie punches him)
Episode 113, Lines 250-250
250JoeyYeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
185PhoebeJoey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
186JoeyBecause I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.
187MikeI'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
188Phoebe(To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
189Mary EllenHey!
190PhoebeWho are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
191JoeyLook Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
192PhoebeI'm out of here (She leaves)
Observation: Phoebe/Mike's first date ends badly (Episode E903/L185-192: , line(s) 903), not with the kiss/sex implied in Episode E1005/L26-28: , line(s) 1005.
Episode 1005, Lines 26-28
26PhoebeYes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
27RachelOH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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