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Episode 907: The One With Ross's Inappropriate Song

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

1Written byRobert Carlock.
Transcribed by: Coffee Mug.
Dedicated to the great work of Eric Aasen, Guineapig and many, many more.
68JoeyYou know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see, I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants.) Yeah, I could see it.
Observation: Episode E907/L68: , line(s) 907 might be a Married.. with Children reference.
77MikeGreat! Come on in! (Mike kisses her on the cheek. A butler walks in and takes Phoebe's coat.)
78PhoebeOh, thank you! Oh... Oh my God, you're RICH!
79MikeNo, my parents are rich.
80PhoebeYeah, so... They gotta die someday. (Mike's parents walk in.) HELLO!
Nitpick: In Episode E907/L77-80: , line(s) 907, Phoebe's surprised Mike's parents are rich, but in Episode E907/L26-29: , line(s) 907, she knows they live in a rich neighborhood.
Episode 907, Lines 26-29
26MonicaWow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step.
27Phoebe(sarcastically.) Really? That hadn't occurred to me.
28MonicaThey just gonna love you, just be yourself.
29PhoebeThey live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!
149JoeyWell it's okay, its like... its just a football game.
150ChandlerFootball? Just football?
151JoeyYeah, see... you were all worried for nothing.
152ChandlerIt's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size....) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door....) What are you doing?
Nitpick: In Episode E907/L149-152: , line(s) 907, Chandler implies he doesn't like watching football and in Episode E809/L48-51: , line(s) 809, he's watching football just to avoid helping; but in Episode E309/L2-5: , line(s) 309, he seems to enjoy it.
Episode 809, Lines 48-51
48PhoebeYeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So how’s the game?
49ChandlerI have no idea.
51ChandlerYeah! I’m just pretending to watch the game so I don’t have to help out with stuff.
Episode 309, Lines 2-5
2[SCENE]Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there, the guys are watching football, the girls are cooking Thanksgiving dinner.
3The Guys(reacting to a play) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Awww!
4PhoebeHey, it’s your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
5The GuysWe will. (they don’t move)
173PhoebeOh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love...
174MikePhoebe you don't have to eat...
175PhoebeNo, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat....) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it.) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Nitpick: In Episode E907/L173-175: , line(s) 907, meat makes Phoebe ill, but she's eaten meat before: Episode E416/L169-176: , line(s) 416, Episode E104/L224-226: , line(s) 104 (unknowingly), and Episode E204/L21-24: , line(s) 204. (maybe it's just veal?)
Episode 416, Lines 169-176
169(ACTION)He takes a bite out of the sandwich and as he does so, Phoebe attacks the other end and starts devouring the sandwich.
170ChandlerThere’s a Phoebe on my sandwich! (He walks away, giving the sandwich to Phoebe.)
171JoeyPhoebe, what-what are you doing?!
172PhoebeI can’t help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
173JoeyAll right look, y’know how-y’know how when you’re dating someone and you don’t want to cheat on them, unless it’s with someone really hot?
174PhoebeYeah, totally!
175JoeyAll right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If you’re going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
176[SCENE]Cut to later, Phoebe is finishing off her steak.
Episode 104, Lines 224-226
224MonicaOkay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much?
226MonicaWell, unless goose is a vegetable...ha haaaah!
Episode 204, Lines 21-24
21MonicaPlease, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
23MonicaWell, didn't you?
24PhoebeI might have.
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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