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Episode 111: The One With Mrs. Bing
Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script
# | Speaker | Line |
1 | Written by | Alexa Junge Transcribed by: guineapig |
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6 | Monica | Oh my God. (Grabs Phoebe and turns her away) Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression. |
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7 | Phoebe | Where? (Turns to face him) Ooh, come to Momma. |
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Observation: In Episode E110/L241-242: , line(s) 110, Phoebe seems to really care about David, but in the very next episode (Episode E111/L6-7: , line(s) 111), she seems to get over this quickly. |
Episode 110, Lines 241-242 |
241 | David | I'll never forget you. |
242 | Phoebe | And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy. |
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118 | Mrs. Bing | No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off. |
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Observation: Nora Bing's comment in Episode E111/L118: , line(s) 111 is highly self-referential. Though the Friends writers didn't actually kill Paolo off, he is essentially nothing more than a complication, a secondary character that stops Ross and Rachel from getting together, and one that is eventually written off the show. |
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142 | Joey | You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom! |
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Nitpick: In Episode E111/L142: , line(s) 111, Joeys says it's ok to kiss friends' sisters, but in Episode E614/L15: , line(s) 614, he says he was mad at Chandler for 10 years for doing this. Admittedly, making out is more serious than kissing, and what Chandler actually did was much worse (see Episode 311 for details). There's also a strong implication that Joey also "made out" (and more) with Phoebe's sister in Episode E116/L333: , line(s) 116. |
Episode 614, Lines 15-15 |
15 | Joey | I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years. |
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Episode 116, Lines 333-333 |
333 | (ACTION) | Phoebe gets up and walks across the hallway, but the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment is shut. She knocks, and anxiously waits for Joey to come, but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joeys shirts. |
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153 | Joey | You don't think my mom's sexy? |
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154 | Ross | Well... not in the same way... |
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155 | Joey | I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children? |
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Nitpick: In Episode E111/L153-155: , line(s) 111, Joey says his mom gave birth to 7 children, which would mean him and 6 siblings. In Episode E206/L40-43: , line(s) 206, Joey says he has 7 sisters, and Episode E303/L165-168: , line(s) 303 confirms this. We know the names of 6 of Joey's sisters: Gina, Dina (both Episode E311/L154-159: , line(s) 311), Mary Angela, Mary Theresa (both Episode E311/L264-266: , line(s) 311), Cookie (Episode E311/L289-291: , line(s) 311), and Tina (Episode E113/L250: , line(s) 113). The scene in Episode E903/L182-184: , line(s) 903 may be a reference to this inconsistency. |
Episode 206, Lines 40-43 |
40 | Ross | What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to a hospital. |
41 | Joey | We'll watch him. |
42 | Ross | I don't think tho. |
43 | Joey | What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we? |
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Episode 303, Lines 165-168 |
165 | Monica | Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!' |
166 | Joey | Yeah, the Knicks rule! |
167 | Monica | Joey, this is you! |
168 | Joey | Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right. |
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Episode 311, Lines 154-159 |
154 | Phoebe | How can you not know which one? |
155 | Rachel | I mean thats unbelievable. |
156 | Monica | I mean, was it Gina? |
157 | Ross | Which one is Gina? |
158 | Rachel | Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings. |
159 | Monica | No, no, no, thats Dina. |
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Episode 311, Lines 264-266 |
264 | Joeys Sister | So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips. |
265 | Chandler | Ahhhh, youre not Mary-Angela. |
266 | Joeys Sister | No, Im Mary-Theresa. |
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Episode 311, Lines 289-291 |
289 | Chandler | Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.) |
290 | Joey | Cookie, now you can punch him! |
291 | Chandler | What?! (Cookie punches him) |
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Episode 113, Lines 250-250 |
250 | Joey | Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today. |
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Episode 903, Lines 182-184 |
182 | Phoebe | Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have? |
183 | Mike | (Joey holds up six fingers) Six! |
184 | Joey | What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!! |
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324 | Rachel | Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'. |
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325 | Monica | What's a 'niffle'? |
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326 | Joey | You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'. |
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327 | Rachel | Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist... |
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328 | Ross | Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those! |
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Observation: Episode E118/L7-9: , line(s) 118 contains an excellent bit of continuity regarding Rachel's poor typing skills, which we first see in Episode E111/L324-328: , line(s) 111. |
Episode 118, Lines 7-9 |
7 | Ross | Rach, did you proofread these? |
8 | Rachel | Uh... yeah, why? |
9 | Ross | Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills. |
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Original scripts courtesy:

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