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Episode 112: The One With The Dozen Lasagnas

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

#SpeakerLine
1Written byJeffrey Astrof, Mike Sikowitz, Adam Chase & Ira Ungerleider
Transcribed by: Jim & Tracy Lambers
With Minor Adjustments by: Dan Silverstein
6MonicaAunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Nitpick: In the lines above, Monica says her lasagnas contain meat, but in below: Phoebe eating lasagna from this episode, Phoebe's eating one (maybe she's scraping?). [This annotation came from another source, and I am in the process of properly crediting it. It is it not something I annotated myself]
Image below: Phoebe eating lasagna
 
96JoeyAw, I know all about Kip!
97ChandlerIt's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Nitpick: In the lines above, Chandler says Kip ran off and got married. But in Episode 505: The One With All the Kips, line(s) 195-197, we hear that Kip got "phased out" (it's possible that Kip found someone and got married while being phased out).
Episode 505, Lines 195-197
195ChandlerKip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
196JoeyOh, that poor bastard.
197RachelSee? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
 
187PhoebeOk, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Observation: Phoebe lies when she says that she never lies (the lines above). Examples: Episode 603: The One With Ross's Denial, line(s) 114, Episode 706: The One With The Nap Partners, line(s) 104-109, others. (maybe she meant she'd never lied up to that point? and, of course, there's nothing inconsistent about a liar saying they never lie!).
Episode 603, Lines 114-114
114PhoebeNo. No, I won’t. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didn’t love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And that’s how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, that’s a lie.
Episode 706, Lines 104-109
104Rachel(shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!!
105PhoebeSee? This is exactly why you shouldn’t lie!
106RachelAll right that’s it! I am maid of honor!
107PhoebeNa-uh, I am!
108RachelHow come you are?!
109PhoebeBecause I cared enough to lie!
Nitpick: In the lines above, Phoebe makes the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world, but in Episode 703: The One With Phoebe's Cookies, line(s) 35-37, Monica wants Phoebe's chocolate chip cookie recipe. (Maybe Phoebe has 2 "world's best" recipes, and/or the creators needed "chocolate chip" for the "Nestle' Tolouse"/"Nestle Tollhouse" joke to work).
Episode 703, Lines 35-37
35MonicaNo, you don’t want this. I want to have your grandmother’s cookie recipe.
36PhoebeYou mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
37MonicaUh-huh, yeah.
 
207PhoebeOk, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Nitpick: In Episode 107: The One With The Blackout, line(s) 118, Phoebe sings that she stays away from dairy, but the song obviously doesn't reflect her personal views. In Episode 103: The One With The Thumb, line(s) 290, she eats ice cream w/ everyone as they mope over Monica's breakup w/ Alan (below: Phoebe eating ice cream from Episode 103: The One With The Thumb). In the lines above, we see she carries milk in a thermos (Rachel's probably too stunned to get some from the fridge), and in Episode 212: The One After the Superbowl, line(s) 491-492 and Episode 906: The One With The Male Nanny, line(s) 12, she puts milk in her coffee. In below: Phoebe pours herself some milk from Episode 216: The One Where Joey Moves Out and below: Phoebe drinks the milk she poured from Episode 216: The One Where Joey Moves Out, Phoebe pours herself some milk and drinks it. She also takes a swig of milk in Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In, line(s) 233, but this is mostly to protect Central Perk. I also don't count Episode 202: The One With The Breast Milk, line(s) 102, because human breast milk doesn't really qualify as dairy.
Episode 107, Lines 118-118
118Phoebe(singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Episode 103, Lines 290-290
290[SCENE]Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.
Episode 212, Lines 491-492
491CHANDLERHey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
492PHOEBEI'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
Episode 906, Lines 12-12
12Scene
Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.
Episode 507, Lines 233-233
233PhoebeOh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! That—this milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Episode 202, Lines 102-102
102PhoebeDuh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)
Image below: Phoebe eating ice cream
Image below: Phoebe pours herself some milk
Image below: Phoebe drinks the milk she poured
 
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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