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Episode 505: The One With All the Kips

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

#SpeakerLine
1Written byScott Silveri
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
6JoeyMonica? What time is it?
7ChandlerUhh, 9. (He pushes the clock into the sink.)
8JoeyBut it's dark out.
9MonicaWell that's because you always sleep to noon, silly! This is what 9 looks like.
10JoeyI guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise. (He goes into the bathroom.)
Nitpick: In the lines above, Joey seems to accept the sun isn't up at 9am. Even if he sleeps in as an adult, he must've gotten up before 9am as a child!
 
75MonicaOoh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!
76ChandlerOh, you should live with Joey, Roll-os everywhere.
Nitpick: In Episode 602: The One Where Ross Hugs Rachel, line(s) 42-44, Chandler's obviously joking when he says Joey's strict with sweets, because in the lines above, he mentions Joey leaves Rollos everywhere.
Episode 602, Lines 42-44
42ChandlerY’know when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
43MonicaOf course! Joey wouldn’t let you have one?
44ChandlerNo. When it comes to sweets, he’s surprisingly strict.
 
195ChandlerKip, my old roommate, y'know we all used to hang out together.
196JoeyOh, that poor bastard.
197RachelSee? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Nitpick: In Episode 112: The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, line(s) 96-97, Chandler says Kip ran off and got married. But in the lines above, we hear that Kip got "phased out" (it's possible that Kip found someone and got married while being phased out).
Episode 112, Lines 96-97
96JoeyAw, I know all about Kip!
97ChandlerIt's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
 
199RachelWell, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
200PhoebeEhh!!
201RachelHoney, come on! You live far away! You're not related. You lift right out.
Observation: In the lines above, Rachel says Phoebe lives "far away". In Episode 606: The One The Last Night, line(s) 178-179, Rachel is moving in with Phoebe, and Monica seems to say this is "about 20 blocks" away (it's possible Monica's angry and thus inaccurate). There are 20 city blocks to a mile. Apparentally, in Manhattan, 1 mile is "far away" (actually, from what I've heard of Manhattan, this might be true, especially if people mostly walk and don't drive).
Episode 606, Lines 178-179
178RachelI’m not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
179MonicaIt needs to go about 20 blocks to the left!
 
204JoeyHey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
205ChandlerYes that was mine.
206Joey'Cause I figured you'd hooked up with some girl and she'd left it there.
207ChandlerYes that would have made more sense.
208JoeyY'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man! All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya. (Pause.) Were you, or were you not on a gay cruise?!
Nitpick: In the lines above, if Joey really thought Chandler was on a gay cruise, why would a hotel call for him? Wouldn't a cruise line be calling instead?
 
251PhoebeOh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
252MonicaYeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator.
253(ACTION)Joey thinks that sounds familiar, but dismisses the thought.
254MonicaHey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine.
255RachelYeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
256(ACTION)Joey puts two and two together.
257Joey(shocked) Oh! Ohh! Oh!!
Nitpick: In the lines above, it's reasonable that Phoebe would mention Monica's seeing Donald Trump, as this is a big deal. But it's a bit contrived that Monica would mention her missing eyelash curler at just the right time for Joey to overhear (as opposed to privately, or when Joey's not there). Of course, this has to happen, since Joey's not quite bright enough to pick up the connection from just one clue.
 
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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