| # | Speaker | Line |
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| 1 | Written by | Alexa Junge
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen |
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| 15 | [SCENE] | Scene: Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are checking out the place. Luckily, Ugly Naked Guy is nowhere to be seen. |
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| 16 | Ross | Oh my God! I love this apartment! Isn't it perfect?! I can't believe I never realized how great it is! |
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| 17 | Rachel | Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode 516: The One With A Cop, line(s) 98-99, Rachel seems surprised Ross' apartment building doesn't have an elevator. So, she didn't notice this when she helped Ross check out this apartment in the lines above? |
| Episode 516, Lines 98-99 |
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| 98 | Rachel | Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here? |
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| 99 | Ross | Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go. |
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| 71 | Phoebe | Okay, watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie. |
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| 72 | (ACTION) | She gets up and goes over to Chandler who's ordering some coffee from Gunther. |
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| 73 | Chandler | Hey. |
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| 74 | Phoebe | Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you! |
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| 75 | Chandler | Really? |
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| 76 | Phoebe | (feels his arm) Yeah the material feels so soft—hello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out? |
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| 77 | Chandler | Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay? |
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| 78 | Phoebe | Well, if you really wanna know, I'm—Oh! I can't tell you this. |
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| 79 | Chandler | Phoebe, it's me. You can tell me anything. |
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| 80 | Phoebe | Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too. And the one person I want to the most. |
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| 81 | Chandler | What's going on? |
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| 82 | Phoebe | I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don’t even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffee—Oh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will. |
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| 83 | (ACTION) | She makes a show of bending over to get her coat and showing off her bum. She then walks out, leaving no one to eat her cookie. |
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| Observation: In the lines above, as the transcriber points out, Phoebe tells Rachel not to eat her cookie, but the leaves without eating it herself. |
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| 166 | Ross | That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline. |
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| 167 | Phoebe | He broke that. |
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| 168 | Ross | Well, he had gravity boots. |
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| 169 | Rachel | Yeah, he broke those too. |
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| Observation: In Episode 120: The One With The Evil Orthodontist, line(s) 10, Phoebe mentions Ugly Naked Guy's gravity boots; these are mentioned again in the lines above. |
| Episode 120, Lines 10-10 |
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| 10 | Phoebe | How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots! |
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| 193 | [SCENE] | Scene: Outside Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross is knocks on the door and Ugly Naked Guy answers it. He's ugly. He's naked. And he's holding a huge jumbo soda. |
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| 194 | Ross | Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce but—I'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it. |
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| Nitpick: (from Chloe Rogers) When Ross visits Ugly Naked Guy to get his apartment (the lines above, below: Ross about to enter Ugly Naked Guy's Apartment from this episode and below: Ross talks to Ugly Naked Guy from this episode), the apartment number looks sort of like "201". When Ross moves in, it's 3-B (Episode 515: The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey, line(s) 217-222, below: Ross in apartment 3-B from Episode 515: The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey), but in Episode 517: The One With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss, line(s) 38-42 (below: Joey looks for \"hot girl\" from Episode 517: The One With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss), the apartments no longer have numbers on the door at all! |
| Episode 515, Lines 217-222 |
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| 217 | Steve | 3-B! |
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| 218 | All | Oh yeah, aww! |
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| 219 | Steve | Okay, you got your free food! You ruined everyone's fun! Don't you think it's time you went home?! |
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| 220 | Guest #3 | Yeah, leave! |
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| 221 | All | Yeah, get out! Now! |
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| 222 | Steve | Go back to 3-B, 3-B! |
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| Episode 517, Lines 38-42 |
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| 38 | [SCENE] | Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment. |
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| 39 | Ross | Hey Joey! Great stuff huh? |
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| 40 | Joey | This is your place? |
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| 41 | Ross | Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.) |
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| 42 | Joey | But I counted, you're not supposed to live here! Oh man! (Runs away.) |
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| Image below: Ross about to enter Ugly Naked Guy's Apartment |
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| Image below: Ross talks to Ugly Naked Guy |
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| Image below: Ross in apartment 3-B |
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| Image below: Joey looks for "hot girl" |
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| 281 | Chandler | Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss. |
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| 282 | Phoebe | Here it comes. Our first kiss. |
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| Nitpick: In the lines above, Phoebe says it's her and Chandler's first kiss. Actually, they have kissed before, in Episode 502: The One With All The Kissing, line(s) 84. |
| Episode 502, Lines 84-84 |
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| 84 | Chandler | Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.) |
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