| # | Speaker | Line |
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| 1 | Written by | Seth Kurland
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen |
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| 11 | Rachel | …how about I move in with you? |
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| 12 | Phoebe | Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise? |
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| 13 | Monica | Who’s Denise? |
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| 14 | Phoebe | My roommate. |
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| 15 | Rachel | You have a roommate?! |
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| 16 | Phoebe | Yes, Denise. Denise! |
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| 17 | Joey | Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute? |
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| 18 | Chandler | Pheebs, I don’t understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about? |
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| 19 | Phoebe | Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!! |
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| Nitpick: In the lines above, Phoebe's roommate Denise (as a reason Rachel can't move in w/ Phoebe) is obviously a lie. In Episode 523: The One In Vegas, line(s) 116-117, Phoebe confirms she lives alone and in Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In, line(s) 304, Phoebe offers to let Ross live with her (ie, as if she doesn't already have a roommate). It's possible Denise moved in between Episodes 523 and 603, but that's a bit of a stretch. |
| Episode 523, Lines 116-117 |
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| 116 | Rachel | No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesn’t mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked. |
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| 117 | Phoebe | Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door? |
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| Episode 507, Lines 304-304 |
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| 304 | Ross | Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So… |
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| 80 | Rachel | Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." It’s just, there is nothing! The city’s full! |
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| Observation: In the lines above, Rachel obviously didn't read the phone number in the ad; otherwise, she would've immediately realized this was Joey's apartment. |
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| 114 | Phoebe | No. No, I won’t. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didn’t love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And that’s how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, that’s a lie. |
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| Observation: Phoebe lies when she says that she never lies (Episode 112: The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, line(s) 187). Examples: the lines above, Episode 706: The One With The Nap Partners, line(s) 104-109, others. (maybe she meant she'd never lied up to that point? and, of course, there's nothing inconsistent about a liar saying they never lie!). |
| Episode 112, Lines 187-187 |
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| 187 | Phoebe | Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie) |
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| Episode 706, Lines 104-109 |
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| 104 | Rachel | (shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!! |
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| 105 | Phoebe | See? This is exactly why you shouldn’t lie! |
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| 106 | Rachel | All right that’s it! I am maid of honor! |
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| 107 | Phoebe | Na-uh, I am! |
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| 108 | Rachel | How come you are?! |
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| 109 | Phoebe | Because I cared enough to lie! |
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| 174 | Ross | (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.) |
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| Observation: Re the lines above, actually verbal contracts are binding in every state of the Union for many purposes; they're just harder to enforce. |
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| 178 | Gunther | Oh, I was going to offer you my apartment. |
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| 179 | Rachel | Why, where are you going? |
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| Observation: In the lines above, Gunther offers Rachel his apartment; apparentally, he no longer lives with Jasmine as he did in Episode 316: The One The Morning After, line(s) 165-169. |
| Episode 316, Lines 165-169 |
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| 165 | Jasmine | But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too. |
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| 166 | Ross | (angrily) Who’s your roommate? |
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| 167 | [SCENE] | Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in. |
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| 168 | Ross | Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didn’t say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place. |
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| 169 | Gunther | I’m sorry. Was I not supposed to? |
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| 270 | Joey | Excellent! Okay umm, doggy. |
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| 271 | The Potential Roommate | Kitten? |
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| 272 | Joey | Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, but—bye-bye! (He ushers her out the door.) |
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| Observation: In the lines above, I'm guessing the correct answer to Joey's question is "style", and not "pussy". |
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