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Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

#SpeakerLine
1Written byGreg Malins
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
64RachelHey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English trifle!
65PhoebeWow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachel’s dessert is...[about to say “bad”] so good that I eat all of it. There’s none left for anybody else!
66[SCENE]Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel laugh
67MonicaNothing.
68Rachel(worried) Nothing?
69MonicaNo, sweetie, I-I trust you.
70RachelSo, if-if I mess this up, there’s nothing else for dessert?
71MonicaYou’re not gonna mess it up.
72RachelWow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butter’s done?
73MonicaWell, it’s done about two minutes before it looks like that.
Observation: (from Doug Greenhough) Rachel's learning to cook, albeit slowly. In Episode 418: The One With Rachel's New Dress, line(s) 63-69 she gets Monica to cook for her; in Episode 521: The One With The Ball, line(s) 301-303, she's defrosting a chicken (presumably to cook it), and in the lines above, she attempts (but fails) to make an English trifle. Episode 102: The One With The Sonogram At the End, line(s) 66-72 implies Rachel helped make a lasagne. In Episode 905: The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner, line(s) 130-131, Ross notes Rachel hasn't cooked since 1996.
Episode 418, Lines 63-69
63RachelSorry. I’m so exited! I’ve been waiting for this for months! I got my hair coloured! I got new sheets! I’m making him a very fancy meal.
64MonicaUm-hmm.
65RachelWhat am I making him by the way?
66MonicaWell, you’re making him a frieze salad with goat cheese and pine nuts, wild nuts, wild rice, roast asparagus, and salmon au croup.
67RachelI thought I was making him filet mignon?
68MonicaYeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
69RachelWow, I really get crabby when I cook.
Episode 521, Lines 301-303
301[SCENE]Cut to her apartment where Rachel is sitting at the table.
302MonicaRachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!
303RachelIt's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Episode 102, Lines 66-72
66RachelI know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
67Chandler...Dinah?
68Rachel(looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don't be mad...
69MonicaYou didn't.
70RachelOh, I am sorry...
71MonicaI gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)
72RachelOh, but look how straight those noodles are!
Episode 905, Lines 130-131
130RachelAh, did I leave the stove on?
131RossYou never cooked since 1996.
 
144RossOh my God, the pages are stuck together!
145Joey(turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
Observation: Thanks to Angela Burger for enlightening me: in the lines above, Chandler probably gets the pages of "special romance magazines" stuck together while enjoying them, which is why Joey scolds Chandler for getting cookbook pages stuck together.
 
303MonicaAnd Dad, y’know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboys! Ross did!
304[SCENE]The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.
Nitpick: In the lines above, Ross' parents seem shocked that he stole his dad's playboys. But, in Episode 711: The One With All The Cheesecakes, line(s) 252-253, Monica says Frannie showed Ross' Playboys to their mother a long time ago.
Episode 711, Lines 252-253
252MonicaFrannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
253RossThat bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannie’s shoulder.)
 
310RossMonica and Chandler are living together!
311[SCENE]The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked
312[SCENE]Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a “take that!” look.
Nitpick: In Episode 714: The One Where They All Turn Thirty, line(s) 219-222, during Monica's 30th birthday party, Monica's parents know about Monica and Chandler. Since they found out about Monica and Chandler in the lines above, this means Monica must turn 30 sometime after Episode 609. However, in Episode 122: The One The Ick Factor, line(s) 61-63, Monica says she's 26, which means she'd actually turn 30 sometime during the 5th season (assuming 1 year per season).
Episode 714, Lines 219-222
219(ACTION)Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.
220Mr. Geller(filming this) Hey Chandler, you can’t keep your hands off her for one second!
221Mrs. GellerOh-ho, I think it’s nice.
222ChandlerI think it’s necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
Episode 122, Lines 61-63
61MonicaOh, I can't pass for 22?
62PhoebeWell, maybe 25-26.
63MonicaI am 26.
 
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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