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Episode 615: The One That Could Have Been

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

#SpeakerLine
1Part I Written byGreg Malins & Adam Chase
Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman
Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
102RossMon, look who I ran into! (Gestures towards Rachel.)
103Monica(gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
104RachelOhh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (She’s not quite sure of that one.)
105MonicaYou are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!
106RossAnd, and uh, you-you remember my friend Chandler. (Points to him.)
107ChandlerHey.
108RachelOh yeah.
Nitpick: Rachel/Chandler meet at the Geller's Thanksgiving dinner, 1987 (Episode 508: The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks, line(s) 118), make out days later (Episode 1011: The One Where The Stripper Cries, line(s) 277-282), but don't recognize each other in either Episode 306: The One With The Flashback, line(s) 94-99 nor Episode 101: The Pilot, line(s) 53. To compensate: Rachel remembers Chandler in the lines above (the "fake" episode); in Episode 706: The One With The Nap Partners, line(s) 180, Rachel "became friends with" (not "met") Chandler when he was 25, implying they met earlier. (this is probably the most twisted bit of continuity in the entire series)
Episode 508, Lines 118-118
118RossUh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Episode 1011, Lines 277-282
277ChandlerWell, maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship.
278Rachel(blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")
279ChandlerSo where are you applying to?
280RachelOh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... (Chandler leans in an kisses her) (She pulls away) Hey!
281ChandlerI'm in college and I'm in a band.
282Rachel(She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
Episode 306, Lines 94-99
94RachelI’m serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
95(ACTION)Chandler throws the cue ball under there table.
96ChandlerExcuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.
97RachelYeah, so?
98Chandler(picks it up) And now I’ve picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
99MonicaOh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Episode 101, Lines 53-53
53Monica(pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Episode 706, Lines 180-180
180RachelOkay! Okay! Umm, Webster’s Dictionary defines marriage as… (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh… I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six-year-olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six-year-old.
 
303CarolOh, me too.
304RossYeah? Well, I-I think Ben’s asleep.
Nitpick: In Episode 123: The One With The Birth, line(s) 290-293, Ross and Carol name their son Ben from the name on Phoebe's borrowed uniform (Episode 123: The One With The Birth, line(s) 253-256). In the lines above, their son's name is still Ben, even though this is a "what if" episode, and the events in Episode 123 never occurred (maybe it's just a coincidence). [This annotation came from another source, and I am in the process of properly crediting it. It is it not something I annotated myself]
Episode 123, Lines 290-293
290SusanNo shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
291Ross(thinking) How 'bout Ben?
292SusanI like Ben.
293CarolBen. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?
Episode 123, Lines 253-256
253[SCENE]Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.
254RossOk, got the vent open.
255Phoebe(reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
256RossBen, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben.
 
333RachelOh, I probably shouldn’t—so I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! It’s like it’s raining!
334JoeyPretty cool, huh? But if you’re thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldn’t get sucked up into the mechanism, well you’d be wrong.
335RachelUmm, can I use your bathroom?
Observation: In the lines above, Rachel has to pee immediately after seeing Joey's "rainfall" sculpture; this resonates nicely with Episode 217: The One Where Eddie Moves In, line(s) 11-13.
Episode 217, Lines 11-13
11PHOEBE[looking at a water sculpture that looks like a window with rain running down it] Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing.
12JOEYThanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
13PHOEBEYeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge.
 
446RachelBecause I’m married. That’s right, I am a married woman! And I came to a TV star’s apartment to have an affair! Uck!
447JoeyThat’s ridiculous! I’m not a "Star," just a regular famous actor.
Nitpick: Joey uses "quote fingers" in Episode 805: The One With Rachel's Date, line(s) 183-184, but says he doesn't understand them in Episode 902: The One Where Emma Cries, line(s) 109. (maybe he was just mimicking Ross?) Chloe Rogers notes that Joey also uses quote fingers correctly in the lines above, below: Joey uses quote fingers from this episode, but, of course, that's the "what if" episode that never "really" happened.
Episode 805, Lines 183-184
183RossJoey, I’m not worried about her! I’m worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
184JoeyHey! I’m an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! I’m not sure. I think they’re taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Episode 902, Lines 109-109
109JoeyLook, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I don’t really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
Image below: Joey uses quote fingers
 
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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