| # | Speaker | Line |
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| 1 | Teleplay by | Sherry Bilsing & Ellen Plummer
Story by: Vanessa McCarthy
Transcribed by: Eric Aasen |
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| 2 | [SCENE] | Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachel’s door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers. |
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| 3 | Ross | Happy birthday!!! |
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| 4 | Monica | Happy birthday!!! |
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| Nitpick: In Episode 405: The One With Joey's New Girlfriend, line(s) 9-10, Rachel says her birthday is May 5th, but in Episode 722: The One With Chandler's Dad, line(s) 183-184, a policeman notes Rachel's an Aquarius (which would put her birthday between January 21st and February 19th). In Episode 717: The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress, line(s) 62-63, we learn Monica's wedding is May 15th, 10 days after Rachel's birthday, but Rachel celebrates her birthday in the lines above, and Monica's wedding is in Episode 723: The One With Monica and Chandler's Wedding, line(s) 576-578, 9 episodes later. That's a long 10 days! Interestingly, in Episode 722: The One With Chandler's Dad, line(s) 251-253, Monica says her wedding is in "two weeks". And they can't even be celebrating Rachel's birthday early again (like they did in Episode 518: The One Where Rachel Smokes, line(s) 275-279), because in Episode 714: The One Where They All Turn Thirty, line(s) 25, Rachel says she's still 29 in Guam (implying she's 30 in New York). [This annotation came from another source, and I am in the process of properly crediting it. It is it not something I annotated myself] |
| Episode 405, Lines 9-10 |
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| 9 | Gunther | When's your birthday? |
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| 10 | Rachel | May fifth, why? |
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| Episode 722, Lines 183-184 |
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| 183 | Policeman | You’re an Aquarius, huh? |
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| 184 | Rachel | I bet you’re a Gemini. |
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| Episode 717, Lines 62-63 |
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| 62 | Megan | (To Monica) So when are you getting married? |
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| 63 | Monica | Oh May 15th. |
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| Episode 723, Lines 576-578 |
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| 576 | (ACTION) | Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each other’s fingers. |
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| 577 | Joey | We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. (To Chandler) Now kiss her again. |
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| 578 | (ACTION) | They kiss and everyone applauds. |
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| Episode 722, Lines 251-253 |
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| 251 | Chandler | Actually Monica and I are engaged. |
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| 252 | Helena | Really?! Congratulations. When’s the big day? |
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| 253 | Monica | (looks at Chandler) In…in two weeks. |
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| Episode 518, Lines 275-279 |
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| 275 | (ACTION) | Rachel enters. |
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| 276 | Phoebe | (noticing her) Oh, look! Look! Look! |
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| 277 | All | Surprise!! |
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| 278 | Rachel | What?! What?! My birthday's not for another month! |
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| 279 | Monica | That's the surprise! |
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| Episode 714, Lines 25-25 |
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| 25 | Rachel | Y’know, I’m still 29 in Guam. |
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| 22 | [SCENE] | Flashback to Joey’s thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandler’s apartment. |
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| 23 | Joey | (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebe’s lap for comfort.) |
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| Nitpick: Joey's line in Episode 201: The One With Ross's New Girlfriend, line(s) 99 seems to suggest he 15 or 16 in 1990, but this is way off. Even if he was 16 in early 1990 and turned 17 in 1990, he wouldn't turn 30 until 2003. However, he's already 30 prior to the lines above (in a flashback), and the 7th season aired in 2000-2001. |
| Episode 201, Lines 99-99 |
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| 99 | Joey | Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990? |
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| 25 | Rachel | Y’know, I’m still 29 in Guam. |
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| Nitpick: In the lines above, Rachel says she's 29 in Guam, implying it's earlier in Guam than in New York City. Actually, Guam is 14-15 hours ahead of New York time (depending on Daylight Saving Time). And, of course, a person's age isn't really affected by what time zone they're in. [This annotation came from another source, and I am in the process of properly crediting it. It is it not something I annotated myself] |
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| 62 | Rachel | Y’know what? I am going to do something today. I’m not just gonna sit around like some old lady. I’m gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something. |
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| 63 | Phoebe | Really?! ‘Cause y’know that hurts. |
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| 64 | Rachel | So what?! Y’know what? The way I see it—(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)—Ow! Son of a bitch!! |
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| Nitpick: the lines above seem to indicate Rachel has a low tolerance for pain. But in Episode 216: The One Where Joey Moves Out, line(s) 203-215, she got a tattoo, which is similarly painful. |
| Episode 216, Lines 203-215 |
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| 203 | [Scene | Tattoo parlor. Rachel is showing Phoebe her tattoo.] |
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| 204 | PHOEBE | Oh that looks so good, oh I love it. |
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| 205 | RACHEL | I know, so do I. Oh Phoebe, I'm so glad you made me do this. OK, lemme se yours. |
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| 206 | PHOEBE | Ahh. OK, let's see yours again. |
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| 207 | RACHEL | Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours. |
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| 208 | PHOEBE | Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went. |
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| 209 | RACHEL | You didn't get it? |
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| 210 | PHOEBE | No. |
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| 211 | RACHEL | Why didn't you get it? |
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| 212 | PHOEBE | I'm sorry, I'm sorry. |
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| 213 | RACHEL | Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea. |
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| 214 | PHOEBE | I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles? |
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| 215 | RACHEL | Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens. |
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| Observation: In the lines above, it's ironic that Phoebe tells Rachel piercings are painful. In Episode 216: The One Where Joey Moves Out, line(s) 261, it was Phoebe who chickened out of getting a tattoo because it was too painful. |
| Episode 216, Lines 261-261 |
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| 261 | RACHEL | That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it. |
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| 73 | Joey | But it hurt’s my Joey’s Apple. |
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| 74 | Chandler | (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. It’s not named for each individual man. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode 203: The One Where Heckles Dies, line(s) 12, Joey talks about someone's "Adam's apple". But, in the lines above, Joey still thinks it's named after each individual person. |
| Episode 203, Lines 12-12 |
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| 12 | Joey | Hold it, hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts. |
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| 118 | [SCENE] | Scene: Phoebe’s birthday, she’s taking the hippity-hop to Ursula’s apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it. |
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| 119 | Phoebe | Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) It’s for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth! |
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| 120 | Ursula | Right, why do you keep saying that? |
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| 121 | Phoebe | Because it’s our thirtieth birthday. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode 703: The One With Phoebe's Cookies, line(s) 248, Phoebe's vowed not to talk to her sister Ursula. But, in Episode 806: The One With The Halloween Party, line(s) 23-34, Phoebe initiates a conversation w/ Ursula and even invites her to a party! (the lines above doesn't count since it's a flashback). |
| Episode 703, Lines 248-248 |
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| 248 | Phoebe | Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And that’s not happening ‘til October 15th, 2032. |
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| Episode 806, Lines 23-34 |
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| 23 | [SCENE] | Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula. |
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| 24 | Phoebe | Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, it’s me! Phoebe! |
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| 25 | Ursula | Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.) |
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| 26 | Phoebe | Wait a second! So, what’s new with you? |
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| 27 | Ursula | Umm, nothing. I mean, I’m getting married next week. |
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| 28 | Phoebe | What?! |
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| 29 | Ursula | Yeah! Yeah, it’s gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His. |
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| 30 | Phoebe | Huh. Okay. Well, I’m really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.) |
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| 31 | Ursula | Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess that’d be okay. |
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| 32 | Phoebe | Really? |
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| 33 | Ursula | Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day. |
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| 34 | Phoebe | Yeah. Okay. Umm, y’know, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy you’re marrying. |
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| 219 | (ACTION) | Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her. |
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| 220 | Mr. Geller | (filming this) Hey Chandler, you can’t keep your hands off her for one second! |
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| 221 | Mrs. Geller | Oh-ho, I think it’s nice. |
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| 222 | Chandler | I think it’s necessary. (Backs away anyhow.) |
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| Nitpick: In the lines above, during Monica's 30th birthday party, Monica's parents know about Monica and Chandler. Since they found out about Monica and Chandler in Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High, line(s) 310-312, this means Monica must turn 30 sometime after Episode 609. However, in Episode 122: The One The Ick Factor, line(s) 61-63, Monica says she's 26, which means she'd actually turn 30 sometime during the 5th season (assuming 1 year per season). |
| Episode 609, Lines 310-312 |
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| 310 | Ross | Monica and Chandler are living together! |
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| 311 | [SCENE] | The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked |
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| 312 | [SCENE] | Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a “take that!” look. |
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| Episode 122, Lines 61-63 |
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| 61 | Monica | Oh, I can't pass for 22? |
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| 62 | Phoebe | Well, maybe 25-26. |
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| 63 | Monica | I am 26. |
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