| # | Speaker | Line |
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| 1 | Part I Written by | Greg Malins
Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman
Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen |
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| 140 | Mrs. Bing | Don’t you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that? |
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| Observation: (from The creators of Friends (via website/DVD commentary/etc)) The creators weren't allowed to use the word "penis" for quite some time during the middle of the series. The word isn't used at all for the 4.5 years between Episode 306: The One With The Flashback, line(s) 161 and Episode 721: The One With The Vows, line(s) 272 (or the lines above, excluding flashbacks), but is used occasionally before Episode 306 and after Episode 721. |
| Episode 306, Lines 161-161 |
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| 161 | Monica | (turning around) Okay, here’s your penis! |
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| Episode 721, Lines 272-272 |
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| 272 | Ross | Yes, yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grown-ups now? |
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| 233 | Mrs. Geller | I certainly see why the girls like coming here. |
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| 234 | Ross | Why?! |
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| 235 | Mrs. Geller | The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.) |
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| 236 | Ross | (shocked) Gunther?! |
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| 237 | Mr. Geller | Your mother just added him to her list. |
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| 238 | Ross | What? Your-your list? |
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| 239 | Mrs. Geller | Yeah, the list that—of people we’re allowed to sleep… |
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| 240 | Ross | Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know I’m looking for him? |
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| Not a nitpick: Mrs Geller adds Gunther to her "list" (the lines above), even though it's only for celebrities (Episode 305: The One With Frank Jr., line(s) 31-32), but that's ok since Gunther was a celebrity (Episode 219: The One Where Eddie Won't Go, line(s) 147-152). (the elder Gellers may not know this; their "list" game may allow any 5? people, not just celebrities). |
| Episode 305, Lines 31-32 |
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| 31 | Chandler | Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can’t get mad. |
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| 32 | Ross | Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities. |
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| Episode 219, Lines 147-152 |
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| 147 | JOEY | Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show. |
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| 148 | GUNTHER | Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it? |
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| 149 | JOEY | I fell down an elevator shaft. |
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| 150 | GUNTHER | That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche. |
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| 151 | JOEY | What? |
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| 152 | GUNTHER | I used to be Bryce on All My Children. |
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| 566 | Monica | Chandler, for so long I…I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I’d ever been looking for my whole life. And now…here we are…with our future before us…and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don’t want to. You go! |
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| 567 | Joey | Chandler? |
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| 568 | (ACTION) | Ross leans in to give Chandler his vows. |
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| 569 | Chandler | (To Ross) No, that’s okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way, it’s okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I’m sure? (He leans in and kisses her.) |
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| Nitpick: Janice calls Chandler her soulmate (Episode 308: The One With The Giant Poking Device, line(s) 221), and Monica does so in the lines above, but Chandler/Monica agree they don't believe in soulmates in Episode 816: The One Where Joey Tells Rachel, line(s) 188-190. [This annotation came from another source, and I am in the process of properly crediting it. It is it not something I annotated myself] |
| Episode 308, Lines 221-221 |
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| 221 | Janice | Oh! You’re right. Oh God. But, before I can say ‘good-bye’, there’s something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, it’s like, I finally understand what Lionel Richie’s been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, it’s like movie love, you’re my soulmate, and I can’t believe we’re not going to be spending the rest of our lives together. |
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| Episode 816, Lines 188-190 |
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| 188 | Monica | Chandler, you don’t believe in soul mates? |
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| 189 | Chandler | No. But I’m sure (mimics Don) ‘tomatoes’ does. |
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| 190 | Monica | I don’t believe in soul mates either. |
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| 576 | (ACTION) | Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each other’s fingers. |
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| 577 | Joey | We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. (To Chandler) Now kiss her again. |
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| 578 | (ACTION) | They kiss and everyone applauds. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode 405: The One With Joey's New Girlfriend, line(s) 9-10, Rachel says her birthday is May 5th, but in Episode 722: The One With Chandler's Dad, line(s) 183-184, a policeman notes Rachel's an Aquarius (which would put her birthday between January 21st and February 19th). In Episode 717: The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress, line(s) 62-63, we learn Monica's wedding is May 15th, 10 days after Rachel's birthday, but Rachel celebrates her birthday in Episode 714: The One Where They All Turn Thirty, line(s) 2-4, and Monica's wedding is in the lines above, 9 episodes later. That's a long 10 days! Interestingly, in Episode 722: The One With Chandler's Dad, line(s) 251-253, Monica says her wedding is in "two weeks". And they can't even be celebrating Rachel's birthday early again (like they did in Episode 518: The One Where Rachel Smokes, line(s) 275-279), because in Episode 714: The One Where They All Turn Thirty, line(s) 25, Rachel says she's still 29 in Guam (implying she's 30 in New York). [This annotation came from another source, and I am in the process of properly crediting it. It is it not something I annotated myself] |
| Episode 405, Lines 9-10 |
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| 9 | Gunther | When's your birthday? |
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| 10 | Rachel | May fifth, why? |
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| Episode 722, Lines 183-184 |
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| 183 | Policeman | You’re an Aquarius, huh? |
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| 184 | Rachel | I bet you’re a Gemini. |
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| Episode 717, Lines 62-63 |
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| 62 | Megan | (To Monica) So when are you getting married? |
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| 63 | Monica | Oh May 15th. |
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| Episode 714, Lines 2-4 |
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| 2 | [SCENE] | Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachel’s door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers. |
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| 3 | Ross | Happy birthday!!! |
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| 4 | Monica | Happy birthday!!! |
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| Episode 722, Lines 251-253 |
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| 251 | Chandler | Actually Monica and I are engaged. |
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| 252 | Helena | Really?! Congratulations. When’s the big day? |
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| 253 | Monica | (looks at Chandler) In…in two weeks. |
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| Episode 518, Lines 275-279 |
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| 275 | (ACTION) | Rachel enters. |
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| 276 | Phoebe | (noticing her) Oh, look! Look! Look! |
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| 277 | All | Surprise!! |
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| 278 | Rachel | What?! What?! My birthday's not for another month! |
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| 279 | Monica | That's the surprise! |
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| Episode 714, Lines 25-25 |
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| 25 | Rachel | Y’know, I’m still 29 in Guam. |
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| 583 | Chandler | Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash. |
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| 584 | Monica | I didn’t take a pregnancy test. |
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| 585 | Chandler | Then…who did? |
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| 586 | [SCENE] | Cut to Phoebe and Rachel. |
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| 587 | Phoebe | Oh and they’re gonna have a baby. |
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| 588 | Rachel | Uh-huh. |
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| 589 | (ACTION) | The camera zooms in on Rachel who has a very worried and frightened look on her face and she slowly takes a deep breath. |
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| Nitpick: In Episode 811: The One With Ross's Big Step Forward, line(s) 8-13, Rachel says it's her 4th month of pregnancy and she sat on Santas' laps "last week", so it must be near Xmastime. Even if it's only November, this means Rachel got pregnant no earlier than July. But, Rachel's pregnant at Monica's wedding (the lines above), which is on May 15th (Episode 717: The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress, line(s) 62-63). This is actually part of the more general summers-don't-exist problem. [This annotation came from another source, and I am in the process of properly crediting it. It is it not something I annotated myself] |
| Episode 811, Lines 8-13 |
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| 8 | Phoebe | Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right? |
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| 9 | Rachel | Yeah. |
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| 10 | Phoebe | This is completely normal, around the fourth month your hormones start going crazy. |
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| 11 | Rachel | Really?! So this has happened to you? |
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| 12 | Phoebe | Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind, now, I was carrying triplets so in, y’know, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy. |
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| 13 | Rachel | Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santa’s lap. |
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| Episode 717, Lines 62-63 |
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| 62 | Megan | (To Monica) So when are you getting married? |
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| 63 | Monica | Oh May 15th. |
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