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Episode 905: The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner

Only annotated lines are quoted below, not the entire script

#SpeakerLine
1Written byScott Silveri
2SCENECentral Perk.
3PhoebeOh hey you guys, I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
4JoeyThursday? But that's Halloween.
5PhoebeSo?
6JoeySo spooky, that's all.
Nitpick: In Episode 108: The One Where Nana Dies Twice, line(s) 16-17, Rachel mentions Phoebe's birthday party. Since Rachel has only known Phoebe since the first episode, this means Phoebe had a birthday party sometime between Episode 101 and Episode 108. However, in Episode 117: The One With Two Parts: Part Two, line(s) 51-53, it's Phoebe's birthday again, even though less than a year has passed. It's possible Phoebe's joke in Episode 606: The One The Last Night, line(s) 33-35 is a reference to this blooper. the lines above implies Phoebe's birthday is close to Halloween, even though Episode 117 comes after Valentine's Day (Episode 114, "The One With The Candy Hearts", is set on Valentine's Day).
Episode 108, Lines 16-17
16RachelYeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured maybe not.
17ChandlerHuh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?
Episode 117, Lines 51-53
51RossWo-wo-whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
52JoeyWhen's that?
53RossTonight.
Episode 606, Lines 33-35
33PhoebeAnd also, my birthday.
34MonicaIt’s not your birthday.
35PhoebeWhat a mean thing to say! I would never tell you it’s not your birthday!
 
130RachelAh, did I leave the stove on?
131RossYou never cooked since 1996.
Observation: (from Doug Greenhough) Rachel's learning to cook, albeit slowly. In Episode 418: The One With Rachel's New Dress, line(s) 63-69 she gets Monica to cook for her; in Episode 521: The One With The Ball, line(s) 301-303, she's defrosting a chicken (presumably to cook it), and in Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High, line(s) 64-73, she attempts (but fails) to make an English trifle. Episode 102: The One With The Sonogram At the End, line(s) 66-72 implies Rachel helped make a lasagne. In the lines above, Ross notes Rachel hasn't cooked since 1996.
Episode 418, Lines 63-69
63RachelSorry. I’m so exited! I’ve been waiting for this for months! I got my hair coloured! I got new sheets! I’m making him a very fancy meal.
64MonicaUm-hmm.
65RachelWhat am I making him by the way?
66MonicaWell, you’re making him a frieze salad with goat cheese and pine nuts, wild nuts, wild rice, roast asparagus, and salmon au croup.
67RachelI thought I was making him filet mignon?
68MonicaYeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
69RachelWow, I really get crabby when I cook.
Episode 521, Lines 301-303
301[SCENE]Cut to her apartment where Rachel is sitting at the table.
302MonicaRachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!
303RachelIt's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Episode 609, Lines 64-73
64RachelHey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English trifle!
65PhoebeWow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachel’s dessert is...[about to say “bad”] so good that I eat all of it. There’s none left for anybody else!
66[SCENE]Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel laugh
67MonicaNothing.
68Rachel(worried) Nothing?
69MonicaNo, sweetie, I-I trust you.
70RachelSo, if-if I mess this up, there’s nothing else for dessert?
71MonicaYou’re not gonna mess it up.
72RachelWow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butter’s done?
73MonicaWell, it’s done about two minutes before it looks like that.
Episode 102, Lines 66-72
66RachelI know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
67Chandler...Dinah?
68Rachel(looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don't be mad...
69MonicaYou didn't.
70RachelOh, I am sorry...
71MonicaI gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)
72RachelOh, but look how straight those noodles are!
 
168Ross's MomI understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his willie between his legs and cried out: "Mommy, I'm a girl, take me with you."
Observation: The picture in Episode 108: The One Where Nana Dies Twice, line(s) 257-258 is the same "trick" described in the lines above (which may be why everyone knows about it in Episode 905: The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner, line(s) 220-222).
Episode 108, Lines 257-258
257JoeyOoh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
258Ross(looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.
Episode 905, Lines 220-222
220RachelYou guys ever heard the story about when Ross's mom went to the beauty salon?
221ChandlerYou mean the willie story?
222RossHuh-huh, they already know it! (Ross wins...but then realizes that perhaps it's not a good thing that they already know this story.)
 
Original scripts courtesy:
The Complete Friends Script Index (CFSI)
which is maintained by Eric Aasen, originally created by gunieapig (this site is currently down).
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